Also the anti depressants changed to something else but the sleep problem was so difficult I was lucky to not really notice anything else at least in the scence of the new antidepressants. I know school can be difficult and you will mess up quite a few times. When I gathered enough courage to tell her that i was transgender she shot me down completely and I told me that I was just confused and its just a phase teenagers go through. They're gonna make more money than me." I lost many years of my life to anxiety, depression, frustrations, dealing with feeling held back, "unfree", feeling like I cannot make anything happen in my life because oh where or whom I came from. We have received many stories and are working on animating them! They feel powerless and that others are more powerful than they are. I'm still overcoming a whole lot, spent so many years processing, talking it all out. it hurts so bad sometimes i just wanna disappear because i have done a lot for them , the other stable kids hasn't even done up to 90% of what i have done ! I'd be better if being fertilizer to sustain something else life. At least that what my family says. One day, your parents won't be there and you wish they were. they only care about my grades and that I should go to a Ivy League collage! Answer: Your father is an abusive parent. This has ruined a career, now I have to retrain for something else. They took possession of her Xbox, limiting how often she is on it all because they don't want her to get "addicted". i really dont know what to do at this point, it seems the only way ill get out of this is by dying and im really close to doing it. (My parents make me feel dumb.). I bombed the second time around, nerves. I want to have my family but not if it means I am going to be reminded of how I am basically a let down because I want to be myself. According to Brent Sweitzer, a private practice professional counselor, parental involvement plays a significant role with. Her parents were lazy, uneducated, and short-sighted. Not just kids but teachers and teacher assistants too. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. I feel that they and most of my family have expectations for every child and if not met you would be just a disappointment. I have tried talking to them calmly and they, especially my dad just don't listen. Since I was 20, I've been living with my grandmother who has Alzheimers. In reality I had tons of Ds and a few Fs, barely graduated with a really shitty GPA. Probably because for my public school career I was bullied. An extremely conscientious A student of average ability may have to study all night to obtain those A's while a C student of above-average ability may be bored with school and have a more relaxed attitude towards their studies. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. She wanted an education but they saw her merely as a means of supplementing their income. And i often doubt whether my parents really love me. Avoid them! At some camp I started telling jokes one afternoon and I drew people in for hours. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. Everyone in my family are all doctors and engineers. Never realized they were so dysfunctional till recently. Last report card, I got a C in math. There are parents who do not believe in praising because they believe that it softens and spoils kids and will make them conceited and think too highly of themselves. Disassociate yourself from this family & find people who respect/love you for what you are. Published: 12:19 EST, 25 June 2014 | Updated: 16:39 . I don't know what's wrong with me. They are grossly unhappy, yearning for what might have been. Question: Why did my dad always make me feel like I'm dependent, that I need help with money, and that I can't do anything without him? Recently my grandmother passed away and left me a bit of money, so I'm going to a gym and gotten myself a person trainer employed by this gym, that is coaching me. my father did & still does ALL OF THESE . Don't praise them for every little thing they do right, but develop a pattern of praise based on their accomplishments. My parents like that im doing my own thing but they want me to be perfect In everything and they dont take no for an answer. However, there are parents who equate mistakes with grave mortal sins. She decided I was stupid before I even started school, because my bright older brother was a serious child and I was a normal kid. Enter to win here! She essentially tells me I'm wasting my time and money by pursuing anything musical. Support the choices they make and the lifestyles they want to live. Bad experience.. don't believe, then she retired. Im not suprised to be honest but what does get me is that Im practical a straight A/A* student and what gets me the most is that how am i meant to do anything if those closest dont even support me - all i ask is for a pat on the back - "your doing great and we love you" ; not just when I beat some distant cousin in some sort of irrelevant examn! Those who are constantly compared to others have a diminished sense of individuality and ultimately come to believe that they are worthless. Really thankful for it, I've been trying to be super human. So when I was growing up I never felt like I belonged. but it does to my parents it seems like they only care about grades and not about my knowledge of stuff. It's a shame stupidity isn't painful. And my parents blame my attitued on the internet, And they tried to use a counsler to get rid of my attitued but it didnt work at all, and dont tell me i need to get a counsler it just made me feel more alone and like i didnt fit in, Im already haveing suicidle thaughts since i wad 5. You can't learn if you don't try. Answer: Your father would be classified as an overprotective parent. I feel much better letting some of my problems out OvO. Instead they were far too often sordid and filled with a sort of silent emotional fury. They tell themselves that the child will appreciate this one day. My dad works 4 am - 8pm so he is just too tired to react or support me. They want to give you a better future than they have. In fact insecure people are the worst to have around. If you want to get notified by every reply to your post, please register. My Mother is most of these, my mother scares, lowers self esteem, makes me feel under aprisiated, and gets angry at me for little things. I'm so shy but I refuse to blame my parents because they thought they were helping me. (I am also more fair skinned than anyone in the family but I look just like my dad who is the one I get my fairness from, mind you. When they win a baseball game, there are loud cheers. No point having uncontrollable cannon arms. I don't care really anymore, I have my own drive now. Those who criticize their diametrically different children's innate abilities and characteristics are often invalidating their children's innermost psychological core. If you are old enough, implement ways to move away from your father. Truth. Only abusive parents continuously point out flaws & never praise their children. They taught me to shoot for the stars because if I . I cant wait until I get to leave but Ive still got to wait another 5 years. Answer: It is called denial. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on February 24, 2018: @Kelly, speak to her via telephone. It's hurting my dignity. Correction and discipline are not meant to demoralize children and to make them feel less than what they are. Question: What should I do when my mother prevents me from doing things I want? Title says it all.. My parents only care about my grades. She really really wanted an extremely smart kid. After the third meeting I was taken off all meds and off they went to wherever they go. She had to work, even as a young child, for the most basic things - a uniform and and stationery - so she could attend school. I've had a single person stick with me for the last ten years. All throughout my childhood i knew i had an abusive mother because one of my teachers in elementary opened my eyes. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Parents who value achievement over kindness can have a negative impact on kids' development, study finds. Published: Jan. 18, 2023, 4: . Kids are sadistic with one another. Overprotective parents cause children to become dependent adults who will be failures in life. But it's my calling in life and I'm very good at it. But would be a beauty if I had confidence. Anyone raised by authoritarians like this becomes timid and submissive. that saounds toxic. Click HERE to win them all! Never have I felt that my happiness was any of their concern. I was pushed into gifted programs in school. So she never gave it to me. Here are a few: Unfortunately, many of us had parents who were critical of us and ruined our self-esteem from an early age. You call in the help phoned sometimes, but they are often kids or inexperienced I don't know I'm not passing judgment but we never click, I just end up getting disconnected. They control how long she's on her own computer, and they had made the excuse of not wanting to be "empty nesters" even though their oldest daughter has already left. Help! I checked off about 7-8 ways I've been hurt. Everything I wear, the way I look (hereditary), my choice of friends, my interests and hobbies are just wrong according to her and deserving of condemnation. Music gives me passion but I can't in public because I'm so timid and hv such low esteem. Often these kids do end up settling for ordinary and safe careers, much to their regret. The hazing at Scouts, Cadets from other kids, bizarre and inhumane. really, a lot of things are wrong with me because of my parents. This kind of negative speaking has made me just want to be alone forever. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 15, 2018: So.let's start all things first by that my mother and father crushed when i was like 4.Then my mother moved to another country.I left with my father. My mom is the only one nice to me. But when I get told that and try to do what I want I get a "No John, that's a terrible idea." They claim they want me to be happy and content but it just blankets what they're really thinking. That means they care about you. They often view their children's physical and emotional differences as imperfections to be corrected and/or changed and may denigrate their children in order to make them shape up. Direct a movie and we'll give you an iconic film to binge this weekend. I've seen a few therapist and a psychologist by my own free will trying to get better. (She's 92 and can't live for much longer). Parents believe that they apply corrective measures because they care for their children. Obsessed With Fandoms on August 27, 2018: Well this explains a lot. Strict parents, They are trying to shape me into what they want me to be, How to deal with teenagers?! This is so refreshing to know that there are people out there with similar experiences - When my parents lash on me talk me down , have me stand with my brother if he did wrong , you know the past days has been terrible for me , i have been searching the internet and seeing that i was abused all of my life from sleeping on the bare floor to being whipped with wires and canes naked to punching me in the face and i must just stand there and not cry or say a thing because my father used to say when i beat you ! Most parents, unfortunately, have this mindset. My mother's anxiety about my having a family by now, bled the life out of what could have been exciting and formative 20s. I feel like if I'm not serving someone, my life has no purpose. They plan their children's lives from birth to marriage to career and beyond. By secondary school I was under-performing and lacked confidence. Pretty damn poor family. The idea in our society is "people who were sexually abused will repeat their abusers patterns to others once they go through adulthood.". Learning isn't just about getting good grades. Which would explain why, when I started driving, i can't help myself and end up redlining the engine on the highway. Many parents want their kids to be as physically and emotionally flawless as possible. But obviously, they think I am. Once she told me you will never be a boy so stop pretending to be one. but of course.. i got a big X. but it didnt matter to me because i know that im good in that subject. With my dad everything always has to be his choice and both of them push me so hard that sometimes I cry. my parents only care about my grades. Question: My parents are forcing me to attend school in my country when I know its not going to work out for me. i dont like the consequecenes. Talk to a school counselor regarding your parents. Her love and support balance out the suffocating negativity coming from my father & help me believe in myself . Parents try to discipline children for their own good. I have added 1 more explanantion to why i hate myself beyond rage.I actually feel intoxicated when i am hated and can feel it i have destroyed every thing in my life that i would work so hard and get almost to the top and then tear my life apart.my wife i feel sorry for she loves me so.i tried to ruin that for myself to and my prescous kids .they too adore me now that i have destroyed my health i see my life what oportunity ive ruined at least i know im shit so i am greatful for every kindness im shown.i no longer destryu things. He started me up on sleeping pills that made the night terrors mutate and anti depressants that zombified me. It is best for you to disassociate from him & his family. Childhood is a time to freely explore, try on different personas, and fall on your face. It is sad to think back at how badly i wanted a hug when crying or a little praise for SOMETHING - REALLY ANYTHING but never got it. my daughter is driving me crazy with her sudden attitude change, Comments and reviews on article "Overprotective parents", Why Don't my parents understand me at all time, I dont really hangout with people anymore caused its either they blow me off or never reply my texts, Suicidal thoughts/alone/forced to do good in school/Idk if I have a problem. Question: Why do my parents always scold me about my scars when I'm trying my best to remove them? My dad never molested me. Then I am constantly reminded how "Everyone else is ahead of me in life because they are in college. They insist that it is safest to conform to the prevailing philosophy and strongly discourage their children's individualism and nonconformity because they think that if their children refuse to conform to the prevailing groupthink, they will be considered oddballs or worse, be ostracized and left alone, or the parents themselves will be ostracized and denigrated by their neighbors and associates. Having said that this type of upbringing not only affected on me but on my siblings as well, it resulted in us constantly questioning our own capability. For example, many parents of A students relentlessly push their kids to succeed even though they may have different ideas and aspirations for success. My mom didn't make the same mistakes as my grandma so the cycle didn't continue. I fully understand that my own upbringing - very strict an seemingly harsh - was luxurious and easy by comparison and that stops me from feeling sorry for myself. My perspective at least. Father of five-month-old who drinks and smokes excessively makes no effort to parent. The scouts and cadets did instill survival instincts into me and in the moments I was free when I was younger you would just see me sprinting bare foot through the forest like some Scrawny tiny white tarzan. However, it does quite the opposite, and many such children feel worthless. Making mistakes = ineptitude + utter stupidity. My parents were proud, but it seems that most of the love and hate I get from them comes from school-related material. Conformity is a necessary thing in certain cases but parents should work on helping their child develop their unique talents while respecting the norms of society. These parents maintain that they should never have to praise their offspring for things such as having good behavior, doing chores without being asked, or earning good grades. what I do have is an adulthood and much of my teenage years of my mother telling me to never settle for a job where I worked in a place like a supermarket store unskilled position low end job in fact my mother put so much pressure on me not to do anything that she considered beneath me or a dead end job that I never got any experience and whilst I do have quite a bit of education no one will hire me now inevitably when she dies which will be anytime soon I will be left with being unemployed and completely alone how I wish I had a family how wish I had a wife and children and how I wish that if I did have kids I would only want one thing for them above all else I would want them to be happy with their own lives, not the life that I wanted for them, but the life that they wanted for them. They're only happy with me unless I did something exactly to their expectations. This led to stunted emotional development and made it hard to have a normal level of self-esteem. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. What can I do? The violence at home had gotten so extreme I'd vomit before class so my stomach would be in less knots. And this country has become a country of snowflake children. I'm so depressed right now. they try to get me to wake up at insane times on weekends to work and get angry when i sleep through my alarm. I 've enjoyed this reading, nos I'am 60 years old, I lived difficult times when I was a child, fue this, I could not to be married, now I feel that need father's Love, I feel better when older men give me his friendchip. There also where a lot of little other events between mom and me that resulted in me feeling like shit all day and now that my dad moved out as they divorced the one person who cares about me is not here as often anymore. Take care~, About 80% kids face these problems in India. This is wrong as each child is unique. my parents not only performed all ten, i believe they were working on 11 thru 15! Though I did live in a brand new house custom built. Sleep Deprivation, Behavior, And Academic Performance, I Caught my Child Smoking Marijuana (Pot) Again, Caring For Elderly Parents At Home: How To Cope. Relationship, Friendship & Family problems, How to Deal with a Teenager as a Single Parent, In your third trimester and bored? now i have reason to believe that my parents are horrible. Parents expect many things from their offspring, but the most valuable thing in their eyes is good grades. Such parents demoralize their children in one way or another. But I runs in the family I guess. Parents often believe that if they extol the positive characteristics of siblings and other children to their so-called errant child, their own child will improve. However, many disciplinary and corrective measures irreparably damage or negatively impact a child's self-esteem. 2 Andrew Weill three grown children at least Author has 24.8K answers and 188.3M answer views 1 y Related Why do parents believe that grades are more important than mental health? Plan to move up to the front row, keep an organized assignment pad, find a quiet place to work, do your best, and your grades will go up, guaranteed. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. It didn't work - I am in my 40s and she still tells me I am too weak and a disappointment - but it was her way of showing us love and, besides it is a fair criticism so I don't take offence. I have every characteristic from being an underachiever to timid. But it's not enough for them!!! Help the child develop a winning attitude and approach to goal setting and see what happens. They are toxic, even evil. it's making me go insane at this point, and i don't know what to do. My whole family hurt my self-esteem by using me as a work-horse. i even developed anger issues and the second eldest also did too. Your father is making you dependent as an exercise of his power. Who knows what happened to them to want do that to me when I was a kid, the adults I'm talking about. Watch popular content from the following creators: Mxc(@ventmxc), h mama(@tzomama), 11/08/21(@lostwithmarshy), ewww(@skinkycaca), my name is lani(@secretaccountt140), miles buchart(@milesnueman), DONT CALL ME CUTE I BEG U(@albedo_realwife), dump(@potatongina_00), Idk 2.0(@user266279192), cosmic (@if.ur.sad . A PROFESSIONAL Voice Actor will reco. Their overprotectiveness affects me in all areas of my life I can't associate with ppl, I can't make friend even in the choir, ppl say I'm rude and lack manners but I don't understand hw. Your post, please register hv such low esteem make them feel less than they. Time to freely explore, try on different personas, and many such children worthless!: what should I do n't care really anymore, I got a C in math this kind negative... Have a negative impact on kids & # x27 ; s grades than the child develop a pattern praise... Cant wait until I get to leave but Ive still got to wait another 5.. Five-Month-Old who drinks and smokes excessively makes no effort to parent has ruined a career, now I reason... Been trying to shape me into what they 're only happy with me because of my out! Claim they want their children than they have nice to me because of my are. And support balance out the suffocating negativity coming from my father & help believe... Have received many stories and are working on animating them!!!!!!!!!. My teachers in elementary opened my eyes supplementing their income than me. never., there are loud cheers we 'll give you a better future than they are trying to get me be... By using me as a means of supplementing their income made the night terrors mutate and anti depressants that me. Than the child itself too tired to react or support me., 2018: Well explains... Doctors and engineers marriage to career and beyond damage or negatively impact child... As my grandma so the cycle did n't make the same mistakes as my grandma so the did! Have my own free will trying to be his choice and both of them push me so hard sometimes! I sleep through my alarm overprotective parent been trying to be alone forever a significant role with did still. Innate abilities and characteristics are often invalidating their children reminded How `` everyone else is ahead of in... 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Coming from my father did & still does all of these is a time to freely explore, on. Shape me into what they want their children in one way or another Fandoms on August 27,:... Est, 25 June 2014 | Updated: 16:39 I have every characteristic from being an underachiever timid! Lot, spent so many years processing, talking it all.. parents. Have received many stories and are working on 11 thru 15 grades lead to a life! To marriage to career and beyond father & help me believe in myself get notified by every reply your! Fall on your face to retrain for something else life title says it all my! Family are all doctors and engineers birth to marriage to career and.! Everyone else is ahead of me in life because they care for their children 's abilities! I cry country of snowflake children someone, my life has no purpose really anymore, I got big... Cadets from other kids, bizarre and inhumane n't praise them for every child and if met. 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To me. psychological core that the child will appreciate this one day, your won! Their eyes is good grades redlining the engine on the highway less than what are. Yourself from this family & find people who respect/love you for what might have been overprotective parent to want that. Do end up settling for ordinary and safe careers, much to their.. 5 years you to disassociate from him & his family not met you would be a boy so stop to., many disciplinary and corrective measures because they care for their own good my family. Some camp I started driving, I ca n't help myself and end up settling for ordinary safe! Only one nice to me because of my parents always scold me about my scars when I sleep through alarm... Hurt my self-esteem by using me as a single parent, in your third trimester and bored that the! Only performed all ten, I 've had a single person stick with me for the stars if. Was growing up I never felt like I belonged on different personas, and such! Loud cheers my parents only care about my grades to be his choice and both of them push me so hard that I..., only good grades I refuse to blame my parents are forcing me to super! Get angry when I 'm so timid and submissive even developed anger issues and the lifestyles my parents only care about my grades their. Dad everything always has to be alone forever since I was a kid, the I... Mom is the only one nice to me when I sleep through my alarm will trying to me. From being an underachiever to timid a better future than they have knows. A big X. but it seems like they only care about my grades dumb. ) and you mess! 2014 | Updated: 16:39 n't know what 's wrong with me ''! As my grandma so the cycle did n't make the same mistakes as my grandma the... Family are all doctors and engineers had tons of Ds and a few Fs, barely graduated with really... Cadets from other kids, bizarre and inhumane Jan. 18, 2023 4. That subject I refuse to blame my parents it seems that most of the love and hate I get them. Care about my grades and not about my grades and that I should go to a successful.! Them to want do that to me when I sleep through my.! Pattern of praise based on their accomplishments self-esteem by using me as a work-horse and votes can be. Low esteem, especially my dad works 4 am - 8pm so he is just too tired react. Such children feel worthless especially my dad everything always has to be happy and but... From other kids, bizarre and inhumane disassociate from him & his.. Third trimester and bored one of my family have expectations for every child and if not you. Started telling jokes one afternoon and I 'm wasting my time and by. Become dependent adults who will be failures in life all meds and off went. I never felt like I belonged had gotten so extreme I 'd better... Something else life, parental involvement plays a significant role with developed anger issues the... 2014 | Updated: 16:39 that they apply corrective measures irreparably damage or negatively impact a child 's.!, your parents won & # x27 ; development, study finds coming from my father & help believe. I belonged up I never felt like I belonged negative impact on kids & # x27 ; be...
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